Treadmill and time off.

Last week was a low week, averaging an hour or two a day. Half the week I was at Mike’s which meant no treadmilling at all. Wednesday and Thursday I was sleeping about 12 hours a day and Friday came and I felt sick so I wrapped up the week in bed.

 

I have found out though that playing computer games while on the treadmill means I can stay on the treadmill for ages. I’m forced to take breaks since I don’t notice and suddenly realise I’m starving and a bit dizzy. But I do drink a lot of water.

 

Point is today I felt really listless. I’ve almost completed a project I’ve been working on for over six months:

It’s my book! 1001 First Lines.

For the Kindle version you can click here.

For the paperback version you can click here.

Paperback version is currently distributed by myself but will be available directly through Amazon in the next week. Yes it’s exactly as it sounds. It’s 1001 First Lines from books of fifteen different genres. I’ve been working super hard on it and I can’t believe it’s finally finished and published. So at the moment I’m having a bit of brain downtime which means days spent being quiet, in bed, being a drone.

Don’t get me wrong, I always have project going to work on. But since I need a time out and was sitting here with nothing to do that feeling of uselessness came over me. I’m glad I got on the treadmill even just to get the blood pumping and the esteem climbing. I have also been living off pizza. Seriously. I’m sick of pizza. I need veggies, and fruit.

 

Anyways for todays treadmilling while playing Team Fortress 2: 3 and a half hours, 10kms. I’ve upped my speed too and begun walking at 3kms ph, instead of 2.7. You don’t think it’s a jump but when you’re doing other stuff you definitely feel the speed.

 

Treadmill Day 18

Hours: 5

Distance: 13 kms

Effort: 2 out of 5.

So I’ve been miscalculating my distance because I’ve been doing (for example) 4.3 x my speed for 4 hours 30 minutes instead of 4.5 x my speed.

So when I thought I was at 11.61kms for doing 4 and a half hours, I was actually over 12kms! Hazzah!

Today I broke my record and got the distance and time I’ve been striving for since I began this adventure. I thought 5 hours was good time for each day- but it really comes down to what I have to do for that day instead of if I can keep going. Time goes a lot faster when I’m watching something in the background too, so I’ve been going through Downton Abbey Series 1 and 2.

Other things I’ve noticed:

1. The treadmill takes longer to warm up on cooler days, which means I have to clench the table while I walk to make sure I don’t fall when the treadmill slips beneath me. Once it warms up, usually about five or ten minutes in, it’s fine for the rest of the day.

2. I’ve figured out my eating patterns- and I’ve gotten in to the routine of eating every hour. I have cereal in the morning and then an hour later I have to have something small to keep myself going (usually fruit and yoghurt). Then lunch an hour or two later. If I don’t keep it up I get the drop in blood sugar/blood pressure and I get the shakes. It’s happened a couple of times now and I’ve noticed when it kicks in and why so it’s good to get a handle on that.

3. My week goes: eating well week days, eating what I want weekends. This is a cycle that’s been suggested to me before by many people but this has come up all because of the treadmill- and I’m forced to eat well on the weekdays. Trust me, I’ve tried my normal sugar binge sessions. On Monday night I had a really shitty night and had to crawl up in to bed and cry and I got all the packets of lollies in my house and put them next to me. Barely had a handful and I had to put them all back because I was done. It was bizarre.

Because I’m walking I don’t crave the sugar on the weekdays. Not like if I would have tried the same cycle without the constant walking. I have to make sure I had water and good food to keep me going. Then I have a few lollies at the end of the day but that’s about it. So writing about my experience in the post I wrote ‘for awesome fat people’ I stated just treadmill first and figure out your eating habits later. Don’t do it all at once. But I haven’t even had to make any conscious choices to change that, I just do it. Feels good.

Treadmill day 17.

Due to an emotionally charged day I only did 1 hr and a half. 4kms. This week will make a month of treadmilling.

Treadmill day 16

Time: 4 hours, 30 minutes

Distance: 11.61

Total cals burned for the week: 4671 (above 890 cals per day each day walked)

Body adjustments: Did the first three hours solid, again. I could have made the final hour and a half to two hours but I got a branch or a piece of cement in my eye or something and had to get off.

Our egos are so fragile. So so fragile. I get up the courage to bring some clarity to a situation I was holding back on and the response was overwhelming and knocked me off my feet. It’s really hard to get your mindset out of the constant cycle of “I’m wrong, you’re right.” So anyway I just spent the last hour crying and feeling hurt. But for the first time in a long time I just let myself have it. Instead of pushing it away and pretending it doesn’t hurt and just get over it, be a big girl, be an adult, all that bullshit I decided to sit down and own it. So tonight feeling a bit fragile, not pushing it away, letting it move through me and tomorrow I’ll handle it with clear headedness and love.

Besides that I had a GREAT day on the treadmill. I have found that I get a lot of work done because just browsing the net while walking makes me wonder how much time has gone by. So having a movie on one screen, and working on the other, makes the time go by very quickly. If I didn’t end up bursting in to tears (not helped by the SHITTY ENDING of the romantic movie One Day) but I could have hit 5 hours for the first time today confidently. Thankyou muscle forming weekend. This is going to be a great walking week.

Treadmilling day 15

Hours: 4

Distance: 10.4km

 

Broke new ground today: Did the first three hours through. Given I had my normal breaks to refuel but usually at hour two I get off and have a break for a few hours before getting back on. I kept on going and it was great! It was an effort but worth it. I got the lubrication kit for the treadmill in the mail this week and it really reduces the smell of burning rubber! Means I can go longer without having to get off to let it all cool down.

Treadmill day 13 and 14

Total kilometres walked: 117kms. Only 609kms till Adelaide!

Two weeks treadmilling.

Yesterday:

Time: 4 hours 30 minutes

Distance:  11.61kms

Today: 4 hours

Distance: 10.6km

Level of effort: out of 5, down to 2-3.

Doing 4 hours is becoming easier. Two hours, then eat, then an hour, then eat, then another hour. Still figuring out the food thing. My energy level dropped dramatically today and I had to get off and eat straight away.

I used to think I had diabetes- even though I always test negative- because sometimes my energy crashes so bad I become absolutely starving and I tremble and can’t focus. The sort of trembling I have trouble just putting together some food because it’s so bad. So that hit today and I had some bread and soup and a couple of lollies in case it was my blood sugar level. But I had one too many lollies (not that many, really!) and when I got back on the treadmill I felt sick. A friend recommended orange juice which is a good idea, so I think I’ll pick some up.

God this blog must be so boring. Always about the same stuff but oh well.

So happy with how this is going. I’ve noticed the days off really do make a big difference. Each time I return to the treadmill after a weekend my muscles power on without a worry, fresh and revived.

Treadmill Day 12

Time: 4 hours

Distance: 10.4kms

 

Easiest 4 hours yet. I did the first 2 hours and got off the treadmill to let it cool town. I then had a nice nap and got back on and did the next two almost as easy as the first two.

The last couple of days has been disgustingly hot. Last night the cool change blew through so today is really the first day since I started that it hasn’t been grossly hot and I’ve had to have the air conditioning on and the fan on and all of that. It was lovely, that might be another reason why it was much easier.

Benefit: Housework is so much easier. I did some chores yesterday and if I wasn’t walking so much I would have had major back ache and be sweating and exhausted.

I’m glad I had my break down over the weekend since it’s made my focus clearer. I’m okay to keep at it and watch if the weight changes. I don’t know if my body has changed but I certainly look at it and like it more. I like the curves and the strength.

Profanity abound. You are warned.

Fuck it. I’ve decided not to feel bad.

Fuck you bad feelings.

Fuck you negative voice that tells me I’m not allowed to feel good about myself after walking EIGHTY-FOUR KILOMETRES in TWO WEEKS. Fuck you for saying “awww… you didn’t loose any weight… You thought you could make a change? Thought this is what it would take to change? You can’t do it.” Fuck you for saying that to me after I averaged ELEVEN kilometres a day this last week.

I get that you think you have a right to say that to me. That you believe it’s the truth. That you say it to me because you think you know what’s best for me, that I should follow what you say because you have come about in a response for needing protection. In the past.

Something happened to me in the past that hurt me. And I was in a place where I couldn’t handle it, so you came along and said these things to me to make me feel better, to feel safe. Because trying was hard, so at that time I said okay, I’ll listen to you.

Today you can fuck off. Seriously. I’m not just ready to kick some ass, I HAVE been kicking ass. How dare you give me this shit and try and convince me to believe it.

I wouldn’t let anyone else in my life talk to me like this. So today you’re not allowed to either. I might deal with you tomorrow but that’s tomorrow. I’m talking about now. <point>There’s the door </point>.

 

So now?

Shifting back in to the mindframe I was in prior to getting on to the scales. I see the scales in my mind, and I’m walking away. Awaaaaaay! Thrusting fists up in the air! This is the discussion now:

Wow Scar, you totally are awesome.

I know, right? I’ve never walked so much before. I once got a job doing door-to-door sales but I quit that after three days. 

Remember in that video that inspired you to do this? That guy talked about that stent application? Well you don’t need that now! Your heart valves are pumping heartily. Your muscles are being muscly. 

My body has an incredible strength and power to it. It learns like the brain does, Ijust have to give it time, just like the brain needs. My body adapts, it changes constantly, it replenishes itself with new cells, skin, blood, bone, and tendons all the time. I’m teaching it a new way to live and already, in two weeks, I can walk three hours no problem. 

KAPOW!

Kapow is right. I’m going to keep going because I know change is coming. It can’t not come. If I keep on this path my body must follow through, and it is. This is only the first stage, and I’m in it, and I’ll let it happen however it’s going to happen. 

So proud of you Scarlett.

I’m proud of me too. Gimme a hug.

*hugs herself*

Man down! Man down!

Got on the scales for the first time since getting on the treadmill. Not a kilo lost. So disappointed.

Treadmill day 11

Distance: 8km

Time: 3 hours

Other activity: 1.45 hrs of serious organizing and cleaning out of spare room, moving a mooountain of junk to clear out.

 

I checked with mapmyrun and today, in total, I burned 1400+ calories.

1. Walking: Got to 3 hours confidently. After yesterday I felt good, no aches or pains. I knocked my first hour down easily and so far the second hour is turning in to the first. I get through it comfortably (so long as I have work to distract me!). Today was the first time I was able to get to the third hour smoothly. It wasn’t like “oh god, third hour” anymore. That’s now the fourth hour’s honour, to be the ‘oh god’ hour.

2. Decided to either go the fourth hour, or clean out the spare room. We spent an hour forty-five mins doing it, I got grooosss sweaty but I didn’t tired that badly and I know that’s all thanks to my walking.

3. To control my chronic anxiety last October I got spreadsheet-tastic. This was for all my business task-management. It was a great success and slowly this has been filtering out in other areas of my life. Since getting on the treadmill I’ve been addicted to browsing two things on the net:

1. Ikea furniture.

2. Websites that talk about organizing/cleaning your place. I’m a big believer that our environment is reflective of our mental space and I decided to follow through on my bedroom. My bedroom is also my office space and especially now I’ve got my treadmill desk set up I wanted it to feel good, to be a peaceful, positive space.

So yesterday I discarded all these clothes I’d been hanging on to, and today I went through make up and my food cupboard. I’ve done a huge clean out, got rid of things I’ve been holding on to for years. It feels great. I hope this train keeps rolling!