treadmill desk day 3

Day 3 on the Treadmill Desk!

It is exhausting- it’s also 33 degrees celsius . This is only for dedicated people. I mean, the idea of having a treadmill desk is to force yourself to exercise. It’s hard to just move a treadmill out of the way. After an hour, an hour and a bit, I had to get down. The constant movement is activating my bowels a lot so I have to let my stomach sit for a bit. Also my feet hurt! As a fat person undergoing this experiment my experience would be a bit different from others I think.

At least the people I’ve seen on the net doing their treadmill desk are not overweight or I haven’t seen one that is obese so I’m putting my hand up saying here I am! Obese guinea pig going through the paces.

 

I’ve definitely adjusted to typing and working while walking. Still need more space for my mouse but moving as I walk doesn’t hinder me so much.

 

I’ll be round out to about 3 hours which is roughly 7.5 kms. I’m very happy with that. And I am high on an endorphin rush!

The Consumption Graph

*To Clarify: This graphic is how my body would react or what I would do should I have a break day every week I have Optislim. I don’t have a break day every week, or even every two weeks. I have set break days every three or four weeks, and I’m aware eating like this will not put me into Ketosis – which is the primary task of Very Low Calorie Diets (VLCD’s).

 

Andrew commented on my last entry and this is my response:

This is a graph I prettied up for my readers. It’s got some explanation there but I’ll add a bit more:

At the beginning before I decide to diet I buy as much as I want to consume. I kept the line of buying just beneath it because the desire to consume is never really sated. It comes back in waves. But as I pointed out as well- the purple line is how much I buy, not how much I eat. And when I leave Safeway with my lollies or cookies there’s always something else in the back of my mind I wanted.

It’s the second round- the first time I decide to splurge once I’m into Optislim which happens the first two or three weeks in- and the level of buying is still as high as it originally was. My brain doesn’t read my body yet. It says “GIVE ME FOOD. FOOD FOOD.” As much as what I would usually eat. It has no awareness that my body can’t take it.

Third round: I’m aware that my body won’t take as much in. I know if I buy as much food- which I desperately want to do- I won’t be able to eat it all. So I buy less. Still too much. I always end up buying too much, I never eat everything. If I’m splurging I’ll buy enough for one sitting and then again later, I suppose you could say. Except for tonight. That was a first. We only bought enough for us to eat in one sitting. Dinner and dessert.

Anyway- by fourth round you can see what’s happening. Beyond 7 weeks I haven’t ever gotten beyond that, but eventually the meeting a. the need to consume, b. my tolerance of fatty and sugary foods and c. how much I buy will occur.

The need to consume goes up sometimes, because going for a long time doesn’t turn off the want, like an addiction. There’s still a high level of want to consume but it’s split: That I should buy as much as I used to, just because that’s what I did. Buying for two sessions, for a long time | and buying what I want. And at that time, what I want is usually something savoury, surprisingly. I get over the sweet tooth first and then after that I just want savoury and carbs.

After all that the question was about insulin levels and how they handle over time on my diet. The insulin levels drop dramatically. But in the first two or three weeks I can have sugar and it may resemble what it used to be. A longer tolerance of sugar. However after approximately the third week the moment sugar or carbs – specifically bread- enters my body five minutes later I’m down for the count. Massive fatigue, headaches, drowsiness, followed by grumpiness, moodiness, more fatigue and then craving for more sugar to pick me up- initially. But when I’m over that phase I don’t crave sugar, I crave good stuff. It hits me hard, and to the point it really effects my choices in food. Knowing I’ll crash and that’s all I’ll get from it I end up passing and getting something else- at least that’s what happened last time when I was on it.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense to any of you, but it’s nice to keep for my own records.

142kg no change

Weigh in: 142.2kg- no change.

Firstly: I love music videos. I love them, I think they’re awesome, if I got into the film industry that’s what I’d love to get into. However the fact that they have no classification system means that kids are basically seeing gyrating, sex on sex, girls floosying themselves, guys being buff and treating women like accessories… As a kid I watched Video Hits on Saturday mornings, 8 till 11, great way to start the morning. It was never this bad in the 90s. Now, should I have kids, I would definitely be thinking twice about letting them watch it.
My point: I really wish that this negative representation of both men and women would stop digging it’s own grave and be positive reflections for everyone.

Anyway, secondly: 142.2kg. Haven’t budged. Mike hadn’t either, we were both very disappointed. When you follow the plan exactly it hurts. Last night Mike made an amazing Thai cabbage curry thing. It was awesome tasty. And then it was apparently too much for my intestines. I was stuck on the toilet for a lot there, and they’re still not 100% right today.

But Mike said to me “Remember what you tell me? You can’t possibly be on this diet without losing weight.” So, although plateaus happen he’s right- you can’t. Taking in only 600-700 calories a day once the body gets over the plateau we’ll all move on happily.

Tomorrow night is my break day. I get to eat whatever I want, and a chicken parma still sounds like it’s pretty high on the list. At the Belle in St Kilda would be even better. Still figuring out if I want to spend the whole day as a break day. I’m not talking sugar. I’m talking just eating normally.

I used to want to spend the whole day doing shakes and then have dinner as normal. I think that’s so that I don’t put everything in jeopardy but Mike mentioned well, the whole day is a write off anyway… and I have been craving a ham sandwich for so long…

Loyalty.

Found out that mapmyrun can take my garmin so I think I’ll just stick with that.

 

I have put on approximately 3kgs per Christmas. I had two Christmases this year, one on Thursday and one on Saturday due to alternating family commitments. So now to get back to 133kgs. In fact, just to 130kgs.

 

Feeling good about the New Year.

 

Maymyrun beta is awesome.

A good, luxurious weekend.

136.6kgs- +2kgs

 

There’s been a delay since my last entry, and it’s mostly because I don’t write when I don’t progress. Last week about Wednesday Mike and I decided to let go of the shakes and eat what we want because this weekend we were away to Skene’s Creek, down the south at Apollo Bay.

I’ll tell you right now in the whole five days there was only probably about three instances where I ate food and enjoyed it, as opposed to just eating it because I needed to, as an addiction, because it was there. I barely went the five days without going hungry. I just kept eating. 80% of the time I felt sick. I’m not kidding when I say that I just felt sick most of the time, and barely went hungry.

It was like two worlds battling it out. One world had been suffocated for a very long time, close to dying, needing life. When I gave it life and opened up the box for it to come out it jumped at me. Eat eat eat! It said. The other was the new reality. Whether I liked it or not I can’t handle much more than a hand full of sweets before I get sick. And this echoed over, and over, and over again. I’d wait until I wasn’t sick. Not exactly hungry but just not sick, and keep eating some more.

I can hear what you’re all going say. “Don’t push yourself” “Why eat until you’re sick?” “Take it easy!” A lot of people might not understand why I did it. And it’s not something I usually do consciously. This weekend whenever I put food in my mouth I knew I was full already, but I kept eating anyway. It is an addiction, I need to consume whether I like it or not. It’s about having, having before Monday morning when I’m back on Optislim. It’s not a good plan, it’s not a smart plan, there are a lot of better plans out there.

I’m okay with what happened. Even though blindness hit, it wasn’t full blindness. When I had the food I knew what was happening. somewhere in my head. I expected some weight gain, I gave myself permission to enjoy myself and I did, mostly. I felt so so ill though. I just felt groggy, tired, immovable, bad about myself. I felt like the ‘old Scarlett’ had risen up.

 

I’m onto Optislim again today. I’m prepared for the cravings that will happen, more likely late at night after dinner. I’m prepared for the feeling of not wanting to exercise. I have overcome these before and I will overcome them again. I am capable of looking after myself.

Bloody nose. I’ve caught whatever my housemate has, even though I was trying to keep it at bay with cold and flu tablets. Apparently they just ain’t cutting it like they did two days ago. Fatigued, sniffly, and a bit of an irritated throat. I’d be okay for sport if I didn’t get that feeling nausea as well. Just that general feeling that I don’t want to eat anything cos it’ll make me feel queasy. So annoying.

But at least I did Zumba yesterday. I seem to be gung ho about exercise right now. As in when I got up I wondered if I could do a zumba session before squash. This desire to do two work outs in one day is sticking with me. Yesterday I thought I was going to do a workout with Mike later on but still did a Zumba workout in the morning. I dunno. I just want to get over this 30kgs mark. I’m so close, going to and fro but not quite crossing it. I’ll get there soon enough.

Stitches.

Was going to go out for a run but here I am, back at the computer.

Last Sunday I went for a walk after dinner and had a stitch most of the way, I expected from the potatoes and chicken that were still digesting while I walked. However when I went out in to the world and by the time I got to the end of the long driveway the stitch was firmly in my side and I hadn’t even broken into a proper walk yet so I think it might have to do with just my body still adjusting and me having to take it slowly. So I came back inside and took off my running gear and now I’m drinking a cup of tea, feeling frustrated I didn’t go running. A part of me just couldn’t be buggered anyway, so I use it as a good excuse. But I rarely get stitches, if ever.

I have a job interview this arvo. I prefer to exercise before hand so I feel good and positive about myself. I suppose I could do some pilates or something… *blaaaaaah*

Hot 100 | Week 4

1. To be at 120kgs or lighter by January 1st 2011

133kgs by 20th of October 2010 – this is appearing more and more likely as each day goes by.

2. To run 5km in 50 minutes or less, right through without stopping.

Ran today- 2.85kms in 30 mins. Coupled with some power walking and upped my speed since I was on a tready at the gym. May have pushed more than I should have but I’m still here and alive and enjoying this cup of tea. So getting back on track with all that. Doc said I can get back into my proper exercise routine six weeks after my surgery- that’s still three weeks away. Argh! I wanted to do the 1000 steps tomorrow with Mike but he refuses as he knows what’s best for my body better than I do.

3. To drink 3 shakes and have only veggies for 2 weeks. Have an evening meal free from restriction at the end of two weeks. Do this repetition for the whole 100 days. This equates to 7 restriction free meals between now and the end of the year. This also excludes Christmas, Boxing Day and NYE.

Week 1 completed- Only veggies. No

Week 2 completed- with evening meal. No

Week 3 completed- Only veggies. No

Week 4 completed- with evening meal. Yes. I did the whole thing, and am realigned with my body and my eating once again.

4. To run 50kms in 30 days.

TBA still. Can’t start this until I am fully recovered.

 

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Weigh in: 134.7kgs [294.8 lbs]. 28.1kgs [61.6 lbs] away into the wind.

I’ve added a calculator on the right side of my blog because every time I go to another person’s blog I have to keep pulling one up since I can’t yet calculate pounds into kilos in my mind. It’s almost, basically, half. A kilo is 2.2 pounds, or 1 pound is .45kgs. So in case you read this and want to know how to convert the calculator is only a click away!

This blog is really a vein in my life right now. Or maybe an artery, since it helps me survive on this journey. More than survive, live. It pumps energy and strength into me. I think I’ll update my About Me page since it doesn’t really say a lot. Who wants to know what about me? I have no idea.

The idea that I’ve lost 28kgs, almost 30, has not hit home yet. I feel great, I enjoy my reflection, and all the things that used to deter me and make me feel bad about myself, they’re deteriorating. You forget them sometimes. I don’t want to say it, but I do. I forget them, and I sit here still feeling fat and still feeling overweight. And I forget that I didn’t used to fit in these pants, in this shirt, in this chair. I didn’t used to feel so comfortable walking in these flat shoes. I didn’t like looking at my reflection. I had back pain, knee pain, I was tired. So tired. All my money would be used on binges. I didn’t savour food. This irritated throat I have now, that would have blasted into oblivion since I wasn’t flushing my system out with water. I didn’t have a clear head. I wasn’t happy.

I admit it, I forget all that sometimes. I take things for granted. Moving around easily and feeling happy with myself and knowing there’s more to life and I can have it.

I know this blog doesn’t mean as much to others as it does to me. But there are blogs out there that make me think “oh my holy gosh, that person is AWESOME.” Like Ms Bitch Cakes AJH and Jack Sh*t. These are peeps who have done the hard yards and are maintaining them. And my weight adjustment is reaching heights that they set, and I never thought I would set. I see people on TV and on the internet with different levels of weight loss and the majority of them I sit back and go “whoa… I’ve lost more than you- you look amazing.”

Time to start working on my mental health, making sure my inner perception follows through with the transformation.

Itching to move

I’m feeling a little bit excited. I’ve been reading over the blogs, the forums, looking at all the photos (I love the photos) of the Melbourne Marathon. I love reading about people’s journeys, their experiences.

When I saw Frankie at Transport yesterday we mentioned next year and he said “10k!”. He’s absolutely right. This time next year I want to be doing 10k minimum. Possibly even the half, if things go to plan. But 10ks, I’m so ready to move on to that. I’ve been doing 5kms on and off for a while, but trying to get in at least one 5k a week, whether I run the whole way through or not. But now I’m getting in my 5kms three times a week I think maybe I should try and up it to 8k once a week. This is, of course, once I get into my regular exercise patterns.

The doc said today I can get back into swimming and biking again, and on off jogging but not constant. I feel this life inside me. No I’m not preggers. I’m talking about this passion, drive, this lust for activity. I want to be active for two or three hours a day. I want to run, and swim, and rollerskate, and dance, and zumba, and do boxing classes.

I want to reach my higher self. I want to be inside that self.

Anyways. Here, have more photos of Mike!

 

Mike + I pre-race.

 

 

Mike pre-race

 

 

Along the Yarra, on a beautiful day!

 

 

Mike coming into the G

 

 

Over the finish line!

 

 

Awesome Mike

 

the I Can’t funeral.

I want to run.

 

I want to run!

 

My body wants it. I want it. My tummy isn’t quite ready but I want to be out there. I’m craving activity.

My W.I.D.T.H post is up on Jack Sh*t which is very exciting! Thanks Jack Sh*t for posting up my pictures It was the following day we went back to Jells Park and I had my gallstone attack and had to go into hospital! I am healing very well, and just taking it a day at a time.

I came across a great blog at Trixie Weighs In and she has a ‘tombstone’ project. Putting to rest habits and beliefs that no longer serve her. I did this a while ago myself, I wrote about four pages of beliefs and thoughts and habits that I laid to rest and said goodbye to and had a funeral for it all. It reminded me of this story I read in Chicken Soup for the Soul, it’s only very short- you should read it:

‘Rest In Peace- The “I Can’t” Funeral’

I might do another, not sure. I’ve been video blogging as I find it is easier for me to reconnect with past times, whether they be positive or negative or particular instances that I want to remember when I can see myself in physical form.