Surgery? Smurgery!

Run: 5kms 59.24 mins! Woohoo! I actually got my 5km under 60 minutes! I think I just achieved one of my Hot 100 goals. I’m going to have to look at that.

My last run I booked went so well but that’s because I was on the tready in the gym. I could push up my speed and it feels less awkward than when I try and pick up my pace on the pavement. With gravity, and the fact I don’t have a belt pushing my legs back as I go, it feels a lot harder.

Anyway, since that treadmill run I’ve been thinking that I can up my walking. When I have my walking breaks I’ve been dawdling. Not dawdling, but I have been at a very comfortable pace. So I upped it, since I’m feeling strong in my lungs and heart rate. My legs can keep up most of the time.

And because of that, I just got my 5ks back under an 60 minutes! I feel good. I feel great. Thankyou Universe!

Hot 100 | Week 4

1. To be at 120kgs or lighter by January 1st 2011

133kgs by 20th of October 2010 – this is appearing more and more likely as each day goes by.

2. To run 5km in 50 minutes or less, right through without stopping.

Ran today- 2.85kms in 30 mins. Coupled with some power walking and upped my speed since I was on a tready at the gym. May have pushed more than I should have but I’m still here and alive and enjoying this cup of tea. So getting back on track with all that. Doc said I can get back into my proper exercise routine six weeks after my surgery- that’s still three weeks away. Argh! I wanted to do the 1000 steps tomorrow with Mike but he refuses as he knows what’s best for my body better than I do.

3. To drink 3 shakes and have only veggies for 2 weeks. Have an evening meal free from restriction at the end of two weeks. Do this repetition for the whole 100 days. This equates to 7 restriction free meals between now and the end of the year. This also excludes Christmas, Boxing Day and NYE.

Week 1 completed- Only veggies. No

Week 2 completed- with evening meal. No

Week 3 completed- Only veggies. No

Week 4 completed- with evening meal. Yes. I did the whole thing, and am realigned with my body and my eating once again.

4. To run 50kms in 30 days.

TBA still. Can’t start this until I am fully recovered.

 

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Weigh in: 134.7kgs [294.8 lbs]. 28.1kgs [61.6 lbs] away into the wind.

I’ve added a calculator on the right side of my blog because every time I go to another person’s blog I have to keep pulling one up since I can’t yet calculate pounds into kilos in my mind. It’s almost, basically, half. A kilo is 2.2 pounds, or 1 pound is .45kgs. So in case you read this and want to know how to convert the calculator is only a click away!

This blog is really a vein in my life right now. Or maybe an artery, since it helps me survive on this journey. More than survive, live. It pumps energy and strength into me. I think I’ll update my About Me page since it doesn’t really say a lot. Who wants to know what about me? I have no idea.

The idea that I’ve lost 28kgs, almost 30, has not hit home yet. I feel great, I enjoy my reflection, and all the things that used to deter me and make me feel bad about myself, they’re deteriorating. You forget them sometimes. I don’t want to say it, but I do. I forget them, and I sit here still feeling fat and still feeling overweight. And I forget that I didn’t used to fit in these pants, in this shirt, in this chair. I didn’t used to feel so comfortable walking in these flat shoes. I didn’t like looking at my reflection. I had back pain, knee pain, I was tired. So tired. All my money would be used on binges. I didn’t savour food. This irritated throat I have now, that would have blasted into oblivion since I wasn’t flushing my system out with water. I didn’t have a clear head. I wasn’t happy.

I admit it, I forget all that sometimes. I take things for granted. Moving around easily and feeling happy with myself and knowing there’s more to life and I can have it.

I know this blog doesn’t mean as much to others as it does to me. But there are blogs out there that make me think “oh my holy gosh, that person is AWESOME.” Like Ms Bitch Cakes AJH and Jack Sh*t. These are peeps who have done the hard yards and are maintaining them. And my weight adjustment is reaching heights that they set, and I never thought I would set. I see people on TV and on the internet with different levels of weight loss and the majority of them I sit back and go “whoa… I’ve lost more than you- you look amazing.”

Time to start working on my mental health, making sure my inner perception follows through with the transformation.

Hot 100 Week 3

1. To be at 120kgs or lighter by January 1st 2011
Smaller goals to make this happen:

I am down to 28kgs lost, almost. Yesterday I was, then last night I had Maccas! It was a long day, and I burned sooo many calories. So tomorrow I expect I’ll be back down again. Will I be down to 133 by the 20th of October? I will definitely be there.

2. To run 5km in 50 minutes or less, right through without stopping.

Run 5kms right through, no matter what the time. – By 10th of October (MM) -unable to do cos of surgery. Did do 5.7km in 1:107 so VERY happy with that, especially since I’m still recovering.

3. To drink 3 shakes and have only veggies for 2 weeks. Have an evening meal free from restriction at the end of two weeks. Do this repetition for the whole 100 days. This equates to 7 restriction free meals between now and the end of the year. This also excludes Christmas, Boxing Day and NYE.

Week 1 completed- Only veggies. Yes/No

Week 2 completed- with evening meal. Yes/No

Week 3 completed- Only veggies. No- still in recovery/ general slackingness.

Hot 100 Week 2

Recovery is slow, but good. Today is the first day I feel like I can stand up straight, and be somewhat active without being in pain all the time. It’s mainly the nick in my belly button- TMI but when I looked at the cut I saw that they actually cut a part of my skin off and it looks very confronting and yucky and cos my belly is large and moves around when I stand or walk I have to be careful I don’t stretch that part cos it feels like it’s going to tear. So right now it’s just moving slowly, resting, and stop wishing I was out on these absolutely gorgeous spring days.

I actually have a job interview tomorrow at Contours which should be interesting. I told her I’ve just had surgery and will have to take it easy and she was just happy I was able to come in and see her.

Ok so even though right now it’s on hold for me gotta put it up anyways. It’s late, and I know I don’t have a chance of winning or anything but I hope I am still able to go along with everyone else. My Hot 100:

Hot 100 second weekly update:

1. To be at 120kgs or lighter by January 1st 2011
Smaller goals to make this happen:

Lose 1.5kgs per week minimum.

This week: I don’t know if I put on or took off because my scales are at my house instead of here at Mike’s, and I have eaten a lot of junk this week.

2. To run 5km in 50 minutes or less, right through without stopping.

Definitely no running for me.

3. To drink 3 shakes and have only veggies for 2 weeks. Have an evening meal free from restriction at the end of two weeks. Do this repetition for the whole 100 days. This equates to 7 restriction free meals between now and the end of the year. This also excludes Christmas, Boxing Day and NYE.

Week 1 completed- Only veggies. Completed: No

Week 2 completed- Only veggies. Completed: No. Surgery meant that I have to pretty much keep my eating regular.

Also, I am so impressed with everyone who went out and exercised on my behalf! I hope you had a blast. Thankyou.

Hot 100- Week 1 post.

Hot 100 first weekly update:

1. To be at 120kgs or lighter by January 1st 2011
Smaller goals to make this happen:

Lose 1.5kgs per week minimum.

This week: 0 kgs weight loss. Maintained instead.

2. To run 5km in 50 minutes or less, right through without stopping.

Ran 3kms straight through. Go me! I also upped my speed from 5.2km to about 6kms for a little bit too.

3. To drink 3 shakes and have only veggies for 2 weeks. Have an evening meal free from restriction at the end of two weeks. Do this repetition for the whole 100 days. This equates to 7 restriction free meals between now and the end of the year. This also excludes Christmas, Boxing Day and NYE.

Week 1 completed- Only veggies. Completed: No (only half week through, but have eaten more than veggies.

Don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back.

I’ve suddenly had a burst of traffic on this site, I expect from the Hot 100. Hellloooo to all the new voyeurs! I have added you to my bloggerreader and I’ll do my best to keep reading. I really love reading what other people go through, their experiences both good and bad. I really can sympathize and understand the struggles and achievements.

Ok so since I found out about my gallstones, although I’ve got back into my exercising routine my eating has not been as slimlined as I’d like. I have now officially finished 3 months on Optifast, and the Hot 100 is my next goal system. But sometimes it feels too much. So much going on, so many goals. So my first, highest priority, goal is my vegetarian eating. Everything else sort of follows on from there.

Let me share with you an advertisement I saw on the net. You see these ones everywhere but this one was… astounding. In all its glory. Can you please explain to me why they have used a pregnant woman as an example of the overweight woman in this? You would think that they’d be a bit smarter than that, but considering how cheap and tactless these adds are in general I shouldn’t be surprised. But I really feel like I ought to email someone and say “Ummm… I’m not sure the woman on the left should lose any weight if she wants to keep the baby??”

Sneaky.

Today is the beginning of the Hot 100! Hazzah!

Sneaky Sneaky.

Let me tell you about a sneaky plan.

Monash Gym told me about localfitness.com.au. If you type in your post code or suburb it will come up with all the different fitness things in your area. Gyms, Curves, pools etc. And each one has a trial pass. It might be 3 days, 7 days, more or less. But some even have two. Like Monash has 7 day pass just for group classes and a 7 day pass for group and gym- everything. And then there’s one for Croydon gym up the road from me and Fitness First where Mike now goes…

So my plan is try jump from one place to another to really get use out of these things, that’s like a month of good gymming right there. And then on top of that is other places that might be in my area if I can get to them. Oh yes, oh so sneaky Scarlett. But hey, why waste a good thing?

Hot 100

So today is the start, and yesterday and the day before I sort of floated around with the thought “well it hasn’t started yet I’ll give myself some leeway.” Yesterday not so much leeway but did have Pepsi Max. It’s an odd thing. Optifast website says I can have as much of that as I want, diet softdrink. But it’s like, hello?? Why the hell would I have that? That’s probably one of the worst things on the planet. One of the worst things and on zero calories. But I still think I limited my cals since I had some of those Corn Thins- which are truly addictive- and decided to pass on dinner so I didn’t go over my cal limit.

Anyway, haven’t moved kilo wise but that’s okay. Just gotta take it easy, not take it seriously, but to have fun and enjoy this journey.

Kryptonite.

I have added a Hot 100 page as you can see above, just to better keep track of my goals and how I’m progressing. I’ve also adjusted some of the goals, so that I feel that I can sustain them better.

Listened to some advice yesterday, and I’m not exercising today which means I’m 10ks off my 50kms in 30 days goal. I think it’s the better decision.

I am in a place at the moment where I am trying to be superwoman. As much as possible. Trying to pretend that my body can do anything I make it do, push it as hard as I want to, and I will only improve, get better, gain health and wisdom and all that other shomozzle. I put aside the fact I’m human and pretended no one understood the real potential in me. I mean come on, for all those who tell me to back off- how could you possibly know how hard or how little I’m actually pushing myself? How could you know what my body is capable of or how good I am? </ego>

For some reason I exclude myself from everyone else and think that somehow I’ll just be better. And it’s also fueled by panic. If I have a day off or if I eat something that’s not on my meal plan then I feel I have to make up, be constantly active, make sure I’m burning calories. I know that being constantly active is a good thing, but I mean going to the gym every day and pushing myself, running more and more instead of giving my body a rest day as it needs. If I stop who knows what will catch up to me. I still have that sense of yesterday hovering over my shoulder. That at any moment something will happen and everything will unravel and that will be the be all and end all of all the work I’ve done. I really do feel like I’m constantly on my toes.

Even Superheroes have their weaknesses. That’s what makes them superheroes, isn’t it?

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Yesterday:

3.5km- run. 35 mins.

25mins- BodyAttack @ the gym.

Hot 100

I’ve decided I’m doing the Hot 100. Get into it if you want to achieve some things before the year is out!

This is completing 3 goals within the last 100 days of the year. It starts September 23.

Firstly, what are my three goals?

1. To be at 120kgs or lighter by January 1st 2011

2. To run 5km in 50 minutes or less, right through without stopping.

3. To drink 3 shakes and have only veggies for 30 consecutive days. Twice.

I’m bending the rule for number 3 a little. I’ll allow myself tea as normal.

Today I had a really rough day, ended up bursting into tears in the middle of Kofi because I so badly wanted to eat and I couldn’t. Looking at the menu, even considering the smoothie but I know my body wouldn’t be able to handle the dairy of yoghurt or milk. After my last entry I triggered something. Realizing how restricted I really am, with or without the gallstones. But with them it just puts everything into a clearer perspective.

I understand completely that we must go through these deep, dark moments of desperation. If we don’t, then we don’t change. Change is a stripping away of the old, a true death of something. But I actually sat there wondering how on Earth I could get through this without the function of eating to comfort me. I literally did not know how I was going to cope. To get through it. Logically I understood this was temporary, that this will pass. And as Mike walked me home, and in hand as I cried like a little girl wanting more than anything to eat, I knew that I would feel so much better later for not turning to food for comfort.

But in those moments I feel just totally helpless. I don’t know how to cope. Had Mike not been there I would have gone straight into the supermarket and stocked right on up. I can’t express how grateful I am to have him in my life. With these sorts of changes in your life, you can’t possibly be strong all the time. And sometimes, even without the strength you’re in a position to move through those dark times. If it’s something like this- perhaps it’s the simple fact you don’t have the money to buy the food. Or you can’t get to the shops. Or you’re so physically ill you can’t get out of the house. Something stops you from following through, no matter what you think or want. But in other times you need that support, someone to lock you up and say “NO!” And you’ll hate them. Oh you will hate them with everything in your body. But then it moves on and you forget about how it feels. And you wonder, when you’re on top of the world, how you could possibly live any other way when this just feels so good?